A teaching on Yom Kippur from Rabbi Shimon Gershon Rosenberg, z"l
...there are times during the Holy
Days that we do manage to shed real tears, to feel
real heart-ache. We may even really feel G-d's mercy
and love. These tears, though, are not those we have
been commanded to shed. The mercy we feel is not
that written about in the sundry holy books. Truthfully,
the one gate that opens to real tears, to G-d's mercy,
is that called rebellion. One must find the ability to
leave behind the outer shells of religion, the courage
to burn one's religious party membership card and to
look deeply and truthfully at oneself. One needs to look
intelligently, without any illusions, free from one's own
desires as well as from various societal notions and
filters. This is the first step of the non-religious, but it is
also a necessary condition for real religiosity.
R' Zadok, in one of his works, ventured that Abraham,
was the only one called "my lover" - Avraham ohevi - due
to the fact that Abraham was not born religious, but rather
searched for G-d on his own. His descendents were already
born into a good Jewish home,frum from birth. R' Zadok's
teacher's teacher, the Kotzker, explained the verse "This is
my G-d and I will emulate Him, the G-d of my fathers and
I will exalt Him" (Exodus 15:2) in the following manner.
"My G-d," the private, personal relationship is mentioned
first. This is the G-d whom you can know and to whom
you can cleave. Only this direct relationship, honest
and completely free, can bring fulfillment of your own
personal truth and integrity. Anyone can find this if he is
courageously open to doing so. Only after this can "the G-d
of my fathers" turn arrive.
In one of R' Nachman's deeper discourses, "Blow [the
Shofar of] Reproach" he describes the prayers of Rosh
Hashana from the stance of law and judgment.
The Other Side draws [strength] from the attribute of mercy. ..
Then the mercy on our side is lessened and even the small
quantity of mercy that is left is linked to the attribute of
cruelty. .. " (Likutei Tanina 8)
The mercy found in the religious world is oftentimes
cruel, closed-off with no possibility of actual humane
contact. Religious mercifulness becomes in itself cruelty,
a taunting of those most in need. The path to redemption
lies in prayer, prayer as he understands it, as judgment,
dictum:
For example, Pinchas, zealously fighting against Zimri as it is
written, "Pinchas stood vyipalel (פלל) the root for both prayer
and incrimination! legal argumentation]" (Ps. 106-30). The
Sages explained: He stood in judgment with his Creator ... so
the letters in vyipalel are an acronym for "he threw [his staff]
before Pharaoh, it was a serpent" (Exodus 6:9). One must
throw the staff of his might, that is his prayer, to the serpent ...
in order that the serpent will swallow this prayer, for this is
the way to extract all the holiness that he has swallowed. ..
through this are created proselytes ... and through this the
glory of G-d grows and increases.
What is this prayer-as-judgment, the prayer of Rosh
Hashanah, the prayer thrown to the Other Side to be
swallowed so as to free the converts? R' Nachman's
intent seems clear. G-d's glory is revealed, surprisingly,
by converts. This is an idea which he expresses many
times. The religious tradition itself, built as it is upon
socially accepted norms, cannot serve as a conduit for
the objective presence or glory of G-d. The dictum of
Rosh Hashanah, the prayer-as-judgment, is an inverted
judgment - it is prayer as litigation with G-d. It does not
distract from the injustice, the despair and disparity of
this world. However, miraculously, it is this prayer that
sticks in the throat of the Other Side, who thought at first
to swallow it with delight. The reason is clear: this prayer
frees Man from the religious despair itself. From here he
can move on to a higher level of faith - concrete belief
and redemption.
